Connect with us

Lifestyle

How to deal with separation blues and divorce

Getting divorced or separated is never a happy occasion nor does it bring any kind of happiness to the people involved. However, if a situation arrives that the only way to move forward is alone, here’s what to do

Published

on

Parents are separating from each other
Source: Expatica

Nobody gets married with the notion that 10 years or 20 years down the line they will get divorced or separate due to irreconcilable reasons. Every individual when getting married wishes that his partner is his/her other half. But, for some this may not prove to be true. And the only way to move forward is to go separate.

It is always better to get separated or divorced than holding onto each other along with constant fights and bringing misery to both. Various organisations help the couple separate and lead a happy and healthy life – away from each other.

Whatever is said and done, the process of separation or divorce is stressful and extremely painful, not only for the parties involved but also for the members of the child in the family.

There are so many things that come up when a couple decides to separate and then file for divorce. They need to settle down with various property settlement settings. When there is a child involved it becomes even more complicated.

Usually, parents will have joint custody and share responsibility. But this is not always possible. A parent may not bear this responsibility. The separation process is very hectic and stressful and can make an individual suffer a lot through the same. The process should be undergone by taking proper concern of both the parties.  The division of the assets should also be done by taking appropriate concerns.

Make sure that you take the time to reflect on the past and remember the reasons that got you to this state of mind. One thing you absolutely must avoid is going through a divorce and regretting your decision. Evaluate, in detail, your reasons for divorce.

This will help eliminate regret. The person must move forward sensibly. Whatever is said and done divorce is tough on men and women alike. Here are ten steps to help you on your way back to a fulfilling life.

Think single: 

You are no longer a couple. Life as a single person is very different to the life you’ve been leading so far. Take time to understand the changes that are happening and don’t expect it to be easy.

It’s ok to be single

Society doesn’t look kindly at women who have got divorced and are often looked down upon. A woman can easily be made to believe that the divorce was her fault.  And that a real woman is involved in loving and lasting relationships.

This isn’t true. More and more a woman choosing to be single again and break away from an unfulfilling relationship is a show of strength rather than weakness. Surviving alone, especially in today’s world is tough and the fact that you can do it means you believe in yourself and your capabilities as a single person.

Don’t try to get even

Don’t take revenge. No matter how angry you are, even if he/she has been unfaithful to you, don’t try to get even. You’ll only end up exhausting your energy on something that isn’t going to have any benefit. First, you won’t get your partner back. Second, the bitterness is not going to make you try to forget the past and move on with your life. Remember, you deserve better.

If you are angry try to address it in a more sensible manner — that will be constructive in helping you back to a healthy, emotional state of mind. See a therapist or write down things that make you angry. These will help you deal with your anger and bitterness and deal with your feelings. Find a friend who’ll listen. Anger needs an outlet, but revenge isn’t the way out!

Accept relationship is over

Most partners find this difficult to swallow and cling to things. When you’re living alone and your partner has moved on, except that it’s over. However, many people find this tough to accept and continue to be in touch with the partner either via text or going to their place and begging him/her to meet.

Don’t do this. Talk to the person, when necessary, meet if needed, visit if you must. Be polite but keep your distance emotionally. Accept that you two live separate lives. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be able to find happiness again.

Don’t live in past

It is not easy to separate from a person with whom you have lived for say 10-15 years. You have created great memories from your time together. Remember, you would not have stayed with the person if there was always bad and no good memories. The key is to not dwell on them.

If you find yourself wishing that everything could be ‘like that’ again, it is not going to happen. Give yourself a good shake and remind yourself that things will get better again and happiness for you in the future. And that the past is nothing but a memory. Learn from the past because you can’t go back and undo things. It’s gone forever. Concentrate on the future.

Don’t drown in guilt

Everyone goes through this phase – maybe there was something that I could have done to avoid the separation/divorce. You are most welcome to apologise to your ex if it’ll make you feel better, but don’t expect your apology to change anything. Learn from your mistakes and move ahead.

Re-discover yourself

Most women end up becoming doormats when they get married. They have no individuality left of their own. How much of yourself did you give up during your relationship? Start living again! Discover yourself. Doing the things that make you happy. Sometimes, getting a complete make-over can do wonders for your self-confidence.

Sort out finances

Most women are dependent on their partners to look at the financial aspect. But remember you are single. It is important to look at the money issues carefully. You don’t have unlimited money now. Know exactly how much you have coming in.

Most women end up spending more than they have because they are wallowing in self-pity. Any extra spending can land you in trouble. If you were a homemaker, look for areas where you can find a job or how to make extra money than what is coming via alimony.

Don’t become lonely

A lot of people isolate themselves or their married friends don’t invite you over anymore. Worry not. Don’t panic. This is perfectly normal. As time passes you will gradually find new friends. Be positive; positivity attracts friends.

When you meet new people, they don’t want to listen to your past failures or how bad the divorce was. They don’t know you and finding sympathy from them will not be possible. Smile and people will remember and like you for that.

Don’t have a fling on rebound

This is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. You miss your partner and the intimacy you shared with him, but that doesn’t mean you immediately jump into someone else’s arms. If you have met ‘the one’ take is slow. Get to know that person. When you try to cross it too quickly, you’ll be forcing the relationship and forced relationships rarely last.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Lifestyle

5 Tips to Motivate Students For Ongoing Board Exams

Exams are one of the important milestones in a student’s life. Students need motivation for board exams to pump their confidence and vanish exam fear.

Published

on

board exam motivation
Source: India.com

Lakhs of students are appearing for class X and XII Board exams in India every year. These exams are one of the most important milestones in a student’s academic life. Along with this students needs board exam motivation to pump their confidence and vanish the exam fear. This is why the stress caused during these exams is best addressed than avoided.

The urge to pass these exams with a good percentage can sometimes impact the mental health of the students. They might end up worrying about the exam when they should be focusing all their efforts on revisions.

Exam stress can reduce their self-confidence levels, leading to poor performance and outcomes. Hence, it is very crucial for teachers to boost the morale of the students.

Here is what a teacher has come up with some key tips to motivate the  students right before exams:

Understand Students’ Interests

It is a good practice for teachers to know the strengths and weaknesses of the students. Teachers can know their students better by conducting unique sessions centred around “get to know you” discussions. These kinds of sessions can be held on a monthly basis. Activities like clubbing students with similar interests into groups, and assigning writing or speaking tasks can help in increasing students’ enthusiasm for the subject.

Important To Give Feedback

One-to-one mentoring can be of great help for students to gear up before the exams. This can be an opportunity for the students to clarify all their individual doubts and understand the concepts better. They could also open up about the challenges in studies during these interactions. By providing personalised feedback, teachers can better understand each student’s capability. However, the onus remains on the teachers to encourage the young learners to speak during personal mentoring sessions.

Encourage Collaboration and Competition

Be in touch with students. Teachers should encourage the idea of collaboration and competition by pairing up students. They should be encouraged to justify their ideas or articulate an answer while working in pairs. This fosters peer correction and effective analysis of their own progression. Teachers can promote teamwork and this will help the students to learn from each other. Such activities will also expose them to a diverse set of ideas.

Schedule Regular Breaks

Exhaustion remains one of the biggest reasons for students’ demotivation right before any exam. The ability to think rationally is impaired on a greater scale when a person is tired and studies for long hours without taking timely breaks. It is advisable to have regular breaks during study sessions to strike the right balance between studies and recreation. Hence, teachers should help students prepare study timetables which have regular intervals in between.

Exercise a Little

Stress can be a major contributor to underperformance during exams. It is a proven fact that regular exercise keeps both the mind and body healthy. Practising simpler exercises like meditation or yoga can make the students’ minds feel more relaxed. This will help them to stay composed and concentrate better.

Keeping students’ board exam motivation peaked during Board exams is of utmost paramount. It is easy to motivate them if they have achievable goals, take regular breaks, revise concepts in advance and perform exercises.

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

6 indoor plants and their upkeep

While almost all green plants can be kept indoors, some plants need more attention than others. Here best indoor plants for home in India.

Published

on

best indoor plants for home in india
Source: @Safer Brand

While almost all green plants can be kept indoors, some plants need more attention than others which can be cumbersome if you have a busy schedule. But that doesn’t mean you can’t surround yourself with greenery. Let’s look at some best indoor plants for a home in India.

Rubber tree plant

It is fairly easy to maintain but is fussy when it comes to the amount of water it needs. Here is what you need to know if you have this plant. Rubber plants are rainforest specimens. While they need consistent moistness, they don’t want it to be soggy. Ensure that the pot the plant is in has adequate draining holes.

Use a dish under the pot lined with pebbles to catch extra water. This will keep the roots from sitting in water but provide the humidity as the water evaporates.

Croton plant

Its beautifully patterned leaves can brighten any space. Now that the rains are here in full force, it is important to ensure that you take care of all your plants. Overwatering can lead to root rot. An important thing to keep in mind is that the pot is well-drained. There is moisture in the air, overwatering will harm the plant. Croton also needs at least six to seven hours of sunshine but excess heat will damage its leaves. Try and keep the plant either East or West facing to make sure that the leaves don’t lose their colour.

English Ivy

It looks pretty and while it may look like it is an easy plant to look after, it is not the case. Like any other plant, this plant too will rot and its leaves will turn brown if you overwater them. Before you water it, check the soil. If it is moist, don’t water it. Make sure that the soil is loose and is kept in a well-drained pot. The plant grows in bright light but it is away from direct sunlight. It is a beautiful plan that can be kept inside the home; potting it in a hanging basket is an excellent way to enjoy the beauty of this plant.

Fern

The delicate curled leaves that unfurl into long, lacy fronds look pretty. Go into the forest and you will find ferns carpeting the floor. They also make a great houseplant. They can grow in any kind of pot — clay to hanging baskets to ceramic and don’t require full sun to thrive.

But Indian weather is different. A plant that may live happily in any other environment needs a lot of care here. They love moisture. During the rainy season make sure you don’t overwater the plant or the roots will rot. You can even spray water on the leaves to lock the moisture in. You can keep this plant in the bathroom or even the kitchen.

Green Aralia

One of the most important things to keep in mind if you have a green aralia is that it has to be kept away from cold drafts and windows during the winter months to ensure that it thrives. It needs a feed once every other month during the spring. During the summer months, the plant needs liquid fertiliser. However, be careful if you buy this plant; it is mildly toxic to humans and pets. Ingestion can lead to gastrointestinal irritation, nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea.

They are best as landscape plants. While watering aralia which is indoors, deep water is only when the soil is nearly dry. One of the most important things to keep in mind if you have a green aralia is that it has to be kept away from cold drafts and windows during the winter months to ensure that it thrives.

Pitcher plant

It is not always possible to ensure that the plant that you bring is going to live. Hence, it is important to take care of it properly. Let’s take the pitcher plant. So how does one take care of it if one wants to keep it indoors even if it is a carnivorous plant?

Depending on the species, some require full sunlight and those that originate in the floor of the rainforest may need filtered light. It requires moist soil, and keeps the potting soil moist, but not soggy. Allow the pot to drain thoroughly after watering and never let the pot stand in water or the roots will rot.

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

Mother’s Day 2022: Significance, history, and importance

Being a mother is a full-time job and gets no appreciation-one day where their worth is truly appreciated. Here’swhy we celebrate mothers day.

Published

on

why we celebrate mothers day
Source: @TOI

Most of us know that Mother’s Day is celebrated every second Sunday in May. But did you know why we celebrate mothers day? The whole idea behind Mother’s Day is to honour the mother of the family, to celebrate motherhood, maternal bonds, and the important role that they play in shaping society.

Why we celebrate mothers day?

It is said that the need to celebrate this day arose in the 1900s. Back then a daughter – Anna Jarvis, daughter of Ann Reeves Jarvis – to honour the sacrifices made by the mothers made for their children started this holiday.

It is said that Jarvis organized the first Mother’s Day service of worship and celebration at Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia, the US which serves as the International Mother’s Day Shrine today.

Did you also know that different countries celebrate this day in different months? Some countries celebrate this day in March. Mother’s Day in Egypt is celebrated on March 21, the first day of spring in the northern hemisphere. In Georgia Mother’s Day is celebrated on March 3.

In some countries, the date is adopted to signify religion, like Virgin Mary Day in Catholic countries. Other countries selected a date with historical significance. For example, Bolivia’s Mother’s Day is a fixed date, commemorating a battle in which women participated to defend their children. Or in Russia where it is celebrated as International Women’s Day instead of Mother’s Day.

In India, the concept of celebrating Mother’s Day is new. This could be because we have traditionally been respectful of our mothers and have been revering them for generations.

We didn’t need to set a single day aside for them. But then, we (Indians) tend to ape the West and what the West does needs to be done back home.

Irrespective of how and when Mother’s Day is celebrated worldwide, children go out of their way to make this a special day for their mother. Lunches, treats and gifts are part and parcel of this day’s celebration.

What can you do? Here are some mothers day 2022 gift ideas

For the foodie mom

If your mother is a foodie a last-minute gift can be a meal subscription box that speaks to your mom’s interests. The subscription boxes are becoming popular across India as they select the finest and latest products every month and ship them across to their clients.

As a gift, you can opt for ingredients, or complete meals, including gourmet food and global cuisine. Innovative subscription boxes share recipes and exquisitely packaged boxes that can be used as a collector’s item.

If your mother is all about fitness

If your mom has been looking to shed some weight, a gym membership is a great gift! There are several gyms in each city that offer membership. This would help your mother work.

If your mother is all about looking good

A woman’s body goes through many changes, and protein is quintessential to cope with it. One can gift herbal products to the mother for that perfect skin that will keep her young at heart forever!

 

Continue Reading